The one thing I've been fighting to overcome since the start of this journey is becoming accountable to the most important person...myself. Being a member of Weight Watchers, I have become accountable to the friends I've joined with, to my leader, and to the other members of my group. All through our childhood we are taught that it doesn't matter what other people think about you. Now here I am using my fear of disappointing and letting down my Weight Watchers friends as my motivation to keep going. Having somebody to be accountable to has been a key to my success thus far.
But why can't being accountable to ME be motivation? Why can't I be the person I fear letting down?
The next two weeks I will be missing my Weight Watchers meetings due to events I cannot change. And unfortunately I can't go to any of the other evening Weight Watchers meetings in the area. Now the accountability to ME has to kick in.
JC started the workout program Insanity a couple of weeks ago. In a matter of two weeks he's lost 9 pounds. Why is it that men lose so much faster than women? To the point, though, he has become the most accountable person I know. Yes, he's accountable to the group of four guys he works out with. But more importantly he's being accountable to himself by leaving our house by 5:00 every single morning to go work on himself...FOR himself!
Some days I find myself jealous that he can still do a program like Insanity and that it's working so well for him. Why do I let myself even go there? Why can't I just be thrilled that he's found something that he enjoys and that is going to help him get back to the body he is confident to be wearing??!! I get so frustrated that my knees won't allow me to get on the floor to do push ups or to do squats, or whatever. When I think of what my body was in college I become so frustrated with myself for having hated that body! What I wouldn't give to have that back now!
But you can't turn back time. I did this to my body, so now it's time to undo this.
I love my husband for making me jealous of his success...you know why? Because I'm still the competitor I was in high school and darn it, I will NOT let him leave me in the dust!!! It might take me longer to get there because of what I have done to my body, but I will get there WITH his support. That's the key. I have his 100% support because now we have a common goal. To be Mom and Dad to the two coolest kids for a VERY long time!
From this point forward I promise myself I will be first and foremost accountable to the most important person in this journey...ME!
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